dire problems you can't even drink away

There’s a Severe Rosé Shortage in the Hamptons

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The linen-clad denizens of the Hamptons are being tested. Rosé — their life force, their fuel, the blood that runs through their blue-blood veins — is in short supply.

The New York Post reports that the Hamptons is “running dangerously low” on the wine. Restaurants are even ordering “emergency” pallets. This is perhaps the most dramatic rosé shortage since 2012, when Hamptons wine shops limited sales to four bottles a customer. The community is doing well to keep feelings repressed, but tensions must be mounting. In truth, no one knows whether they will make it through the summer. But they can always cling to hope; they can cling to hope as if it were an empty glass of wine. But even hope resists only so long before it shatters into a million tiny shards.

There’s a Severe Rosé Shortage in the Hamptons